Here’s the thing. I don’t believe most men do go through life resisting the temptation to rape women, because I don’t believe all men are rapists. When men tell me that women are partly responsible for rape which men perpetrate because of xyz boring so-called heresy-rape-apology, when men use words like “temptation” as if they deserve some sort of gold medal for being strong enough and good enough not to rape a woman, I look round nervously to check that I’m not completely alone with that guy. Because rapists don’t tell you they’re rapists before they rape you, but they sometimes give you clues, by expressing their views about women and rape.
The sort of men who think women are “temptations”, rather than human beings, have the same attitudes to women as rapists do. The sort of men who believe women are partly responsible for rape because men can’t be held responsible for their own behaviour, have the same attitudes to their own behaviour as rapists do. So when men say or write stuff that makes them sound like rapists, women are justified in consigning that man to the “never be alone in the same space with” corner. Because women know that if it looks like a duck and it quacks like a duck, it might just be a duck. It might not, but women can’t afford to take the chance. So men, here’s a tip: try not to quack like a duck lest women mistake you for one.
I don’t know where this came from, or if it’s already on tumblr. I saw it on twitter from: https://twitter.com/VoidBurger/status/359416748082085888
It’s sad that if guys like a thing it must be a GUY THING AND OMG NO GIRLS ALLOWED GTFO.
It’s part of why it bugs me when people talk about how Bronies are awesome and breaking down gender barriers. But they aren’t. Breaking them down would be if men were okay with liking a “girl show” while understanding it’s a girl show and being okay with “being a girl” rather than needing to co-opt it, coming up with their own label for their fandom, pushing out girls from it, and making it another boys’ only club.
A lot of the problems men face in society in terms of “being a man” comes from the idea that manhood must be different from “womanhood’, that to be a man is to not be a woman, it’s to be better than women, separate from women. So, as what women can do expands, manhood retreats. If women can play hockey, then men must play violent hockey because simply playing hockey no longer separates you from women. Or if women can work and be successful, men must work more and be even more successful. The bar gets raised for men to keep it away from women, to keep women from being seen as equals, and it can leave men struggling to keep up and “be a man”.
But the solution to this isn’t to then re-expand manhood, and push women back out of the way, it’s to get rid of the idea altogether, and rather than “liking My Little Pony doesn’t make you a girl” as a response to “nyah nyah that’s a girl thing”, how about “what’s wrong with being a girl?” “what’s wrong with liking girl things?”
If all we’re doing to address toxic masculinity is to expand the masculine box, we’re not fixing anything. The problem with the male “box” getting smaller as the gender roles for women expand isn’t feminism, it isn’t women, it isn’t “female privilege”, it’s masculinity, male privilege and the idea that being a man MUST BE BETTER than being a woman, that MAN STUFF CANNOT TOUCH WOMAN STUFF, that being a woman is bad, that being called a girl is the WORST THING EVER, that being told you throw like a girl will DESTROY YOU. That’s the problem. And the solution isn’t to push women back, and take all their stuff, and put up a flag saying I PROCLAIM THIS LAND IN THE NAME OF MANHOOD, it’s for “manhood” to get the fuck over itself, and understand there’s nothing wrong with sharing qualities, interests, traits, and identity with girls and women.
Edit: I wrote a follow-up post to this about another aspect of “manhood” and how it relates to Bronies that push out girls from MLP fandom. I think it’s an important addition to this post because it addresses some stuff I didn’t get to (mostly because I couldn’t figure out how to put it into what I had already written), so I’m linking to it here for future reblogs. :)
In our world, it’s only good if boys like it. You should be honored that boys like your girl thing. But also, if boys like a thing, girls are no longer welcome. Bronies and “boy gamers” are why we can’t have nice things.
These are some of the reasons I stopped referring to myself as a “Brony”
me at nyu
One of the movie theater in Shanghai apparently thinks it is an official image, so they made it into a gigantic movie cardboard display…… I”m so speechless right now….XD Makes me wonder”hum, the story may be played differently in this theater?” Good job movie theater in Shanghai!!
china knows where it’s at
- when parents blame their children for having mental health issues
- when parents make fun of their children for being anxious about things
- when parents yell at their children for not being able to cope with stress
- when parents punish their children for failing at things
- when parents get angry at their children because they werent able to fulfill adult responsiblities
"Wow… Your tattoos are so intricate. I could hardly—did that one just move.”
"He just wants to get a better look!"
That’s actually a really sweet idea—intimate touch without being sexual. ;w; asdfhjsal <33
shark lava and boy girl
a bigender superhero and a shark partner literally made of lava
$ T R E X ¢ O R P
Money isn’t everything. Its the only thing.
contrary to belief, the reason kevin is smiling so broadly is because DB!carlos got so fed up with his shitty sense of fashion and took him out to buy clothes which translated to a date in kev’s mind